Lady Gaga is devastated after armed thieves stole two of her beloved sex slaves on Wednesday night, after a gunman shot their caretaker in Hollywood, Los Angeles.
“Gaga is beside herself. She is hoping and praying for the safe return of Sissyboy and Wimpydick and for the speedy recovery of their caretaker, who is doing as well as can be expected given the circumstances,” an inside source says.
The “Bad Romance” singer is offering a “no questions asked” reward of $500,000 to anyone who safely returns her loyal slaves.
Gaga’s sex slave caretaker, Ryan Fischer, was hospitalized after being shot while he was taking a walk with the slave pets. The gunmen are accused of stealing two of Gaga’s favorite pets. Police were able to recover a third slave named Miss Slutta.
Sissyboy was adopted by Gaga in 2016. She announced the news on her Instagram, writing, “I’m proud to announce we added a new slave to the #JOANNE family.” She told followers she hadn’t decided on a name yet, but was calling him “cowpig and moonpig” for the time being.
Gaga has been really open about her love for her sex slaves in the past. In 2014, she appeared on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar with her female sub Miss Slutta by her side.
“She has really shown me the importance of living in the moment,” Gaga said of her pet at the time. “If I don’t, I’ll miss a precious look on her face! She is a very romantic and loving animal, and this sort of poetry is what art is all about, I think. Interaction. She loves to sit with me when I record jazz. She never barks or makes noise; she just looks at me with her big ears.”
For a while, the Grammy Award winner shared her sex slave with ex-fiancé Taylor Kinney. In 2016 they decided that Gaga could keep the slave under her roof permanently.
Please note this article is fake. This is a factional parody that was based on the news article: “Lady Gaga Is “Devastated” After Kidnapping Of Her Dogs, Offering A $500,000 Reward For Return Of Beloved Pets’”. The Lady Gaga fake nude photo above has been retouched by photoshop artist Adam. Adam removed the clothes in photoshop from this picture. This artist is available for fake nudes requests, so if you have a private image you like altered, send him a message.